Pocket Full Of Change

a man i know died on monday;
i heard the news today.
initially, it doesnt seem real,
people don't drop out of your life just like that.

but they DO.
sometimes its death,
sometimes its breaking up,
sometimes its a misunderstanding
or a gradual growing apart.
and people leave
and your life will never be exactly the same,
no matter how small a role they played.
its easier to push this emotion back down,
to stifle any tears or nostalgia.
dont think about change,
just ignore it,
there's nothing you can do to prevent change.
tell yourself he's still alive
while you go about your life,
pretend you still speak to your best friend
from two years ago,
don't aknowledge the fact that you changed jobs
and everyone that promised to stay in touch doesnt.

i'd like to think im mature enough
to handle the cycles of life.
even the happy changes are hard to accept.
even friends getting married,
or having a kid,
it changes my little world
and sets it just off-balance
from what i was used to for so long.
and i'm forced to re-learn the path,
adjust the way i look at the world.
when have i ever been completely satisfied with that view?
no matter where you stand, there will be an obstacle
- a powerline or tree or the shadow that just won't fade.
take what you can get, snap the picture anyway.
there is beauty in the inperfection,
there is meaning in the change.