if it takes my whole life, i won't break, I won't bend

In less that 20 days another full year of life will have come and gone. It's truly unbelievable. Sure, there were many times when it felt like the clock kept rewinding and repeating, but all in all, looking back, I feel like I've literally been thrust through this past year at an alarming rate. It's amazing how nothing and everything has happened in the past 12 months. At times, I felt like my entire world was shifting beneath my feet, and I was completely powerless to stop it. Other times, it seemed like very little happened over the course of the year, at least on a major scale. I've made friends, and have a great new best friend. Developed romantic crushes (yes, more than one), and learned some hard lessons. As I sit here and write down my thoughts, I can honestly say I am still the same old guy I've been fired through an entirely different world of dynamic and complicated situations, but I suppose I'm not really all that different. Perhaps a bit taller, perhaps a bit wiser, but some things never change. As I have learned this past year of life, some things I will never get right, some things I might have to continually refine for the rest of my existence, and some things I may have already mastered. Regardless, it has been one wild year.

So, where do I stand now?

I've stargazed with potential love interests, dressed up in drag for Halloween, enjoyed countless movies alongside good friends, shared many laughs over some good drinks, played many games of scrabble with two of my best friends, sung a few fun songs, had some great coffee, been overtaken by many a sunset, went to dennys at ungodly hours, journeyed through mysterious graveyards, gone for exhausting hikes, written many blog posts, prepared snacks, been enlightened, been angry, been depressed, tried to help out some friends, been heartbroken, acted like a complete goof, and caught a few tears (and a few kisses). Right now, I feel like welcoming the coming year of my life with open arms, because believe me, this has also probably been the hardest year of my life thus far. I've learned so many things only to be baffled by a hundred more.

I'm ready for another start. This entire year has been about getting my feet off the ground.
Well, I've finally done just that, and now it's time to keep going. Sometimes it's sad to think that the only way to become who you really are requires a significant amount of time to first get a little direction. You think, "If only I could have started sooner, this year may not have been all about the journey to get to a better place." But in any case, I suppose the journey itself is the most important part, not the destination. I realize now that having put myself through the trials and tribulations of this past year, I feel prepared for anything. Let my love come when it comes.
Let my greatest inspirations as a writer hit me when they hit me. Though there will always be frustrations and painful moments we'd just as soon forget, I find comfort in the fact that this isn't the end of it all. Whatever missed opportunities flew past us this time around will come back again at full speed very soon. Nothing's lost forever. Things change, of course, but every moment, every thought, every emotion is too real to forget. Once it's here, it stays. The spirit of our former selves is always within us, no matter how willing we might be to crush it. There is always love, there is always pain, and there will always be experiences. I can't refuse to live, because as far as I'm concerned, that's just impossible. Whatever we do, we're making a memory, and I for one consider myself very lucky to make them alongside some truly fantastic people.

So, I have very few regrets (yes, there are inevitably some). There were most definitely signals I didn't pick up on, conversations that could have been steered differently, relationships that could have been explored instead of neglected, and life-changing choices that could have been made.
However, in spite of all of that, I can be assured only a more exciting future.

"What will come will come, and you'll just have to meet it when it does."
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire