Feeling Sad And Alone

I haven't really been very good
about how I act lately.
I'm getting more and more
frustrated with life,
and I'm letting the little things slip.
I've been cussing more.
I get irritated quickly.
My temper has been getting
shorter and shorter.
I'm just really angry with life.
I'm angry that I feel like
I'm losing everything slowly.
Feeling like I'm... losing touch with reality,
and drawing inward.

To be completely candid...

I feel like i'm losing my best friend,
and some how at the same time,
I've lost my husband in the shuffle.
(I don't want to air any laundry here,
please don't ask unless it's in an email)
I've lost what could have been my child,
I feel like if i spent one more day at work
that i was going to lose my sanity.
and so I quit my job.
I've lost my will to try to do anything
about the things happening in my life.

and the worst thing
is I feel that after I've slipped
sadly out of these places
due to lack of maintence,
that i'm not missed.
There's no hole.
No spot for me to reclaim,
and no energy to reclaim it.

I feel like everything is a betrayal.
I feel like I've lost all my friends.
I never see them anymore.
I feel very alone.

and it's probably because
I've been so pissy lately
that i've just pushed
everyone so far away--
that no one wants to try anymore.